Unlearning...what?!

I have been prompted to see if there is anything in my life that needs 'unlearning'.

Now there's a phrase! 'Unlearning' - I don't even know what it means!!!

I heard recently something that confirmed my suspicions about the human mind: it is effectively infinite... In other words you don't run out of storage, it can recal a sequence of events as one event, it can add or take out colour, sound, smell (yes), and even to some degree touch and physical response to that single memory. It is an incredible thing.

But we still forget things!

So if this incredible creative 'engine' is ours and it has immense potential for learning, surely, harnessing it's strength means we can 'unlearn' things as well?

Or is it actually much more simple than that?

Are there things and habits in my life that I need to modify to such a degree that I have unlearned why and how I originally did them?

This is where spirituality comes in. As a Christian I believed all things are redeemable - it's Biblical. So if I have a bad habit, a bad attitude, or bad practice they are redeemable. They can be changed completely by God's Holy Spirit working in me. 

So today, and for the next few days, I'll be paying attention to the things I do and say and, God willing, unlearning, rewinding and rewriting the script of life so that, in future, I look more like Him than me.

The Potter's Hand

I've been using Peter Scazzero's 'Daily Office' in my devotional a recently. It is brief and it is regularly challenging me. very helpful and I recommend it. The concept behind list of Scazzero's thinking is that we need emotionally healthy spirituality in order to be well balanced Christians - all good, and this book has helped me align my spirit with God while also having all the emotions that come through life without my faith relationship being effected.

So when the last few weeks have been encountered when I have got to the point of questioning my place within my church, the role I fulfil, the mission that I am engaged in then it has been with no real surprise that god has enabled me to work things through fairly swiftly. (For those who think we shouldn't have doubts - I'm really sorry but it's real life not some sort of pipe dream).

Last night I was able to attend a Salvation Army worship evening at the Corps in Easterhouse. My wife Catherine was leading and there was the usual mix of chaos and laughter, deep spiritual moments and even a child that ran away from her own dedication !

During the evening the song 'The Potters Hands' was used. As it was sung I was reminded of my own calling to see lives reshaped, see communities reshaped, and even see movement and organisations reshaped. It was a moment of confirmation and reaffirmation for me.

The fellowship at Easterhouse had effectively died a few years ago and was tabled at our first meeting in West Scotland for closure. Catherine and I had offered to be the officers at Easterhouse 20+ years ago and could not see this as our first major decision. We prayed for seven weeks and then appointed a couple of part time Corps Assistants, Tom and Pam, beautiful Christian people brimming over with God's spirit. 

Last night there were 29 of us worshipping together. The fellowship has a parent and toddler group, mens fellowship, ladies fellowship, craft group, gardening group and lots of other ideas in the pipeline. There are new Christians in the fellowship and one transfers from other churches. If there was a story of the dull clay of existence being transformed into something beautiful then this is it.

And it also reshaped one persons calling as well last night.

Swimming in treacle

How do you know that what you think is a blessing is'nt really a problem? Or what is a curse is'nt really a blessing?

You have to stay with things to see how they fully work out.

The reason I have not written for a few days? Well there are a couple...

I have had a chronic tooth problem which wiped me out preceded by attendance at the Salvation Army Territroial Leaders Conference.

I'm not suggesting that either of them was a curse that turned into a blessing or vice versa!

What I can testify to is that some things that seemed so right at one point start to look obscure and not appropriate as time passes. 

I need to ask questions of myself, my leadership, my relevance. And I need to be courageous enough to ask those same questions of others.

Patient Trust

No personal blog today but some words from, and credit to, Pierre Teilhard De Chardin

Patient Trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through
some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

excerpted from Hearts on Fire

- See more at: http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/8078/prayer-of-theilhard-de-chardin/#sthash.coS71dmI.dpuf

Be still and move on

Today I need to consider being still and moving on as one, singular experience.

To most people these would sound completely contradictory terms. how can one 'be still' while at the same time 'moving on'?

The scripture passage this is based on is from Exodus 14:10, 13-16. Moses is leadin the Hebrew slaves away for captivity and they are approaching the Red Sea whole being pursued by the Egyptian Army. God tells him to 'be still and move on'.

My understanding of this is to do with my relationship with God and what I do with it - it has nothing at all to do with physical activity in the first instance. To be still means I become more aware of both God and myself, to move on means I take that relationship into all that I'd do afterwards. It means that god is with me as a constant presence, not just when I come before Him in the early morning or last thing at night. He's always there - I sometimes miss the fact of this by rushing around mentally, physically and spiritully. He is saying to me "don't forget that I'm with you, together we'll make better progress that by yourself".

And on a daily basis God proves Himself right!

Preparing for the rest of life

When I attended Salvation Army Training College in the mid 1980's there was a little grocery shop in the the college where Cadets could put together their food parcels for  Sunday Corps visits or add to the sustenance that was already provided by the College or buy toiletries etc.

It was run by the brown coated Brigadier Charles Wensley (retired). He became an unofficial counsellor and help to the Cadets, and I dare say some of the staff as well.

Those who got into conversation with him would soon hear his story which normally concluded with something like this: when I was called to be a Salvation. Army Officer I could never understand why - after all I was just a grocers assistant. Now I know that all the experiences of my life have equipped me for this special and most fulfilling calling: to serve the cadets here at the Training College.

Inevitably we are the sum of all our past experience. Qualification and relationship, difficult decisions and personal success and failure are all written on the CV of our lives even if they don't all make it onto paper.

There is, perhaps, a specific calling for each of us that our past experiences has prepared us for.

The Apostle Paul - formerly the murderous religious zealot Paul - had many experiences in his early life of education and religion that, on paper, would completely exclude him from a Christian spiritual life and yet he became the most prolific early Christian leader and writer.

When I consider my background and upbringing I gain some understanding as to how I have got to this point in my life: I bring stability, a certain amount of planning and development experience, many years of pastoral and evangelical ministry, and an unique cable thirst for people to learn about Jesus and for those that do to experience more of His grace.

I bring very few qualifications but I do possess an acute sense of calling.

What are you being called to?

I surrender

What would it take to surrender all of my past to God?

I feel that when I read a sentence like this in my devotions that this is something I have already done - probably numerous times.

I have surrendered hopes and ambitions, property and potential wealth as well as hurt and bitterness to the sovereignty of God. I live the relationship I have with Jesus and feel his presence with me... Most of the time.

And for me that is where the challenge lies. The moment I have typed each letter on this screen it is in the past. So it's valid for me to declare that all my past is surrendered never to be brought up against me or by me in my arrogant defence and that past is way behind me. But what about my immediate past? That part of me which is only just behind me?

Like the wing mirror in a car I can see back down the road I have travelled quite some distance but I need to change my perspective to see the person who is travelling in the back seat.

My immediate past travels with me some way.

The conversation I just had, the joke I just shared, the meeting whe I said nothing and just left. They are all in the past - but may not be too late to put right what was perhaps not the best of us.

I found myself needing to apologise to someone yesterday because of something I had shared with them that I was not able to deliver on. Immediately our relationship was back where it should have been. Apology graciously and gratefully accepted. A mistake of the near past surrendered to Christ who prompted my action. 

For don't forget: surrender may mean corrective action not just future obedience. 

Here is a song, Jesus, All for Jesus, by Robin Mark that I have found helpful when thinking this through in the past http://youtu.be/bbrt1y8pKCo 

The real me

Today I am asked to consider what 'false selfs' I present to those who meet me. The people I work and live with, and occasionally socialise with.

I guess there is a false 'me' in every one. We keep a smile when inside we are crying; we arrive looking and sounding confident when we have taken an age to pluck up courage to even attend.

There are so many masks that we present to even the closest to us. Sometimes we let it slip and others see who we really are... And rarely condemn us for allowing them to witness the real person. 

For many people the mask we present to others is not to do with deception it is to do with self preservation - or at least our complex psychology would tell us that. We inwardly justify that unrepresentative exterior in the name of not wanting to be judged for being authentic. But how real is that?

When I think of the many people I know - and many of them I have got to know the 'real' person as we have shared our journeys together - every one of them I have appreciated more fully as I have got to know them better. As I see the authentic person behind the mask there is something that draws me in. Why? Because reality is always better than fiction!

When I look at my own life then, with it's 'falsehoods', exterior confidence and eternal optimism there is a sense that for some of the time these are not the real me.For to show the real me, to those I lead particularly, would undermine my leadership... 

Who am I kidding? Only myself, because if I lead from a falseness it is not leadership at all, it is deception. So the mask must not be put on the real self must be evident at all times as we meet those we will today.

Know your limits

It is no surprise that god has directed me today to one of my favourite characters in scripture - Elijah - and to one of the lowest points in his life.

Having defeated and beaten the prophets of Baal he is threatened by Jezebel basically saying 'I'm coming to get you'. He runs and eventually collapses. He is, in today's words, 'burned out'.

Although I am a long way from being burned out I am in the midst of a very busy season of ministry with little time just to 'be me', the next day that I can really call a day off is some time away and there are numerous public events within this season which, although something that I love, are always more tiring than simply getting through lots of admin at my desk. When You am in the middle of a season like this if is very possible to lose site of two important truths:

You can do anything

You can't do everything

Seems contradictory but it isn't. It is biblical that we 'can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (Phillipians 4:13) so we know and experience the power and provision of God to do the miraculous and mundane within his empowering and will.

John 15:4-6 explains that whole we are connected with Christ as the vine we are fed and supported and strengthened but without Him we can do nothing.

So my dilemma - and the dilemma of every Christ follower - is this: how do I stay connected to Christ in order to be all the things He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do?

I have developed a couple of simple rules for times like this - learned from people wiser than me as well as my own mistakes:

1: make the most of the moments. In a traffic queue that is going nowhere and you need to be everywhere turn the radio off, take some deep breaths and thank God for a sabbath moment. Or find a quiet place in your workplace or home turn off all the technology and just 'be' for a few minutes. The difference is amazing.

2: who is going to suffer? If some piece of work or ministry looks like it is not going to get done who will really suffer? If it's just your reputation that will be sullied maybe you're too busy because you want people to think highly of you. Probably if it does not get done no one will really notice! 

3: pray more. I find it very tempting to get up very early to do more work ( this is normally my time with God). There is a real temptation to leave prayer in order to catch up with prep (preparing to preach is about feeding others not the sole way of being fed yourself), or 'vital' admin. No! Spend more time in prayer and make the prayer thankful and joyful recognising God's provision and your place in His plan. Truly the joy of The Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10)

4: walk somewhere. It just slows everything down and gives you thinking space and time.

So knowing my limits and ministering to them is important - it recognises God's investment of spiritual gifts in us. Ministering hard and well is crucial but so is resting.

That don't impress me much!

No, not a Shania Twain tribute blog! 

I have met many people with high level skills in my life: world class musicians particularly but also some extremely gifted artists, writers, and also sports people. Within them there is something impressively skillful. The way they master words, artists materials or their instrument. The way they manage to control a ball and give it seemingly impossible direction. It is easy to be impressed with the use of skills.

What impresses me more is how they deal with being impressive.

I have been asked today to consider the life of one of the early church fathers, Anthony. From a wealthy family he heard God's call to sell all he had and give the proceeds to the poor. He then went into the desert for twenty years to commune with God. Returning from isolation he was used in powerful ministry to world leaders of the day and also to the poor, sick and imprisoned. When his life ministry was over he returned to his withdrawn lifestyle.

His ministry was impressive, no doubt, and he is credited with strongly influencing a number of areas of ministry both of his time and since. Many, many lives were changed because of him and thousands followed his example of desert living.

But what impresses me about him? It was that he listened to God and responded appropriately.

Anthony never takes a bow, he never lifts his hand to the crowd to acknowledge their acclamation, he does hold a book signing or an exhibition of his work. He listens to God, follows his word and quietly withdraws when all is done.

Incidentally the people I have met who have impressed me most of all are those who diligently fulfil their ministry, quietly, unassumingly and even thinking that they are not really doing much. They are the really impressive people.

Birthright

I am not a big believer in people's rights. Don't misunderstand me - I'm not some sort of anti human rights aggressor. What I mean is people's self declared rights: no one has a right to a job of their choosing for instance, they do have a right to the opportunity of gainful employment. No one has the right to miss the first steps on any ladder they may be climbing, everyone has the right to progress as far and as fast as their ability and commitment will allow them.

The rights of the self are not self determined.

But everyone of us has a birthright from God which is sometimes - maybe often - ignored.

That is the right to use the spiritual gifts that are placed within us by the gift of the Holy Spirit.

For many they are not exercised because we do not realise they are there - they lay like buried treasure within our soul; for others even though they are discovered they are not used due to embarrassment, or 'we don't do that in our fellowship' attitude of others; there are other reasons and excuses as well.

For myself my gift lay within me unused for sometime because of a lack of confidence - I was not certain of who I was in Christ. Once my relationship with Christ developed where He made me not only confident of myself but moreso confident of Him I was able to confidently lead with diligence as scripture had always directed.

The excercising of the gift was so dependent on my confidence in the giver. No surprise that my leadership is still a reflection of my spiritual life - when I am walking close to Christ I am confident, bold sometimes and can handle criticism and pessimism. When I am not near to Jesus my leadership is faulty - woefully so - I make bad decisions, don't listen to wise counsel from others and have a bullish approach. 

The gifts that each person has are different - and some people have many gifts - we all have a right to use them, that is what God wants for us.

Excercise your birthright!