Listen... What's that sound?

Like most people I live a busy life.

Today, for instance, I already know that in my diary is a business board and a safeguarding meeting, a scheduled phone conversation, a consultation with a corps (Salvation Army church) officer then a consultation with the whole leadership team. In between times there will numerous phone calls, conversations that need decisions making in them and I will attempt to get lunch with my wife, Catherine, and hopefully have a conversation with my children.

There will not be much time for silence on this typical day - apart from the very moments that I am capturing these words on screen! And even then it is not truly silent: there is a clock ticking, an aircraft flying overhead, the distant sounds of traffic on the motorway and even the soft pad of my fingers on the screen.

Silence is elusive.

For some of us silence is essentially where we commune with God on a deep level. The prophet Elijah experienced the glory of God in the silence at a time when he was depressed and burnt out, terrified and running away. He is told by God to await His presence on the mountain, winds, fire and earthquakes happen but after all there is silence and in the silence Elijah finds God - in the sheer volume of silence.

There are moments moments when silence is the only communication we can truly have with God: we will never have the words to praise Greatness, our requests so often seem selfish and crass, our thanks is weak in comparison to his generosity! our bowed head of penitence speaks louder than our 'I'm sorry' when undoubtedly we sin again.

Listen to the sound of silence - and hear the voice of God.

Wild Flowers...

I am not a gardener.

I appreciate a beautifully kept garden but I am not a gardener. Thankfully for any outdoor areas of our various homes I am married to someone who loves gardening.

What I love to see in terms of flowers however is not the manicured edges of a lawn but a wild flower meadow, beautifully unkempt and exiled with the random rainbow colours of seeds which have drifted that way.

We tried sowing (I say 'we' but my role was purely observational) a wild flower garden but it was not to be, somehow the wildness was not there.

The seeds, blown on the wind, bless the place of landing with colour, it is random and yet in some poetic way the same areas each year show their true colours.

Today there will be seeds that float around me, the odd compliment or word of encouragement, seeds of a conversation that will grow into friendship. There is nothing random about these seeds either, for watching for them and accepting and receiving them allows our lives to blossom with the God colours of others. Others may receive from us as well.

Join the dots

What would happen if, in every situation, you expressed how you felt?

Your opinion of your friends clothes/haircut may immediately reduce their Christmas card list!

You political views would no longer be a private matter.

The energy companies may well have another phone call to deal with.

And so on.

What if you expressed how you felt about life to those who are the very closest to you? Those you share your life with, whether they are family members or close friends? Most of us do significant self editing before we express our feelings to others, especially about the deepest things going on in our lives. We drop subtle hints via our body language, our occasional comment or moment of silence. Those around us take these dots, join them together, fill in the gaps and come up with a picture of what is going on. Sometimes they are right, frequently they are not quite.

What if, during our self editing, we just let a little more through? We may discover our friends are much more supportive and understanding than we initially thought.

What if we really spoke to God about how we are feeling? Instead of 'blessing' prayers or 'if it's your will' prayers why not speak to God about how you feel rather than what you want him to do? He is the greatest friend after all.

We all might find that God provides for us in a way we never imagined when we speak to him in a way we never anticipated.

Lost

When I am asked if I have 'lost' something (physically, emotionally, spiritually) my honest first reaction is that I haven't lost anything. Rather bluntly in fact (which may be a clue!)

I 'lost' my grandparents when I was young - yet I do not grieve for them because they are not truly lost because I know where they are, I just can't get to them.

I 'lost' my independence and free will when I became a Christian and subsequently a Salvation Army Officer. But they were given away, not lost: I know who holds them.

I have 'lost' contact with many people and have even considered myself a bad friend for not keeping in contact - but I have, through Facebook and the like been able to catch up on lost friendship.

So maybe there is something deeper than this.

Perhaps I have lost my 'joy'.

There is a certain feeling of going through the motions, even with good intentioned and God directed actions it feels like the joy has disappeared from my life. And it's not an emotion it is a reason for living. 

The moment I acknowledge that the joy is missing something stirs very deeply within me. It is in my soul. My spirit calls to The Lord to remind me - the human being - that He is my joy and the joy of The Lord is my strength.

As the joy returns to me I fully embrace it enjoying it's warm glow, knowing that this gift was there all along - I had simply lost sight of it.

Road Closed

Last night on the very local news was a story that a road is going to be closed during the  Commonwealth Games cutting off a local small community for a day.

The comments from locals varied from outrage to mild acceptance.

Today in my devotional reading I was looking at the idea of roads that become closed to me and so therefore I have to find another way.

When I look at my life at the moment there are a number of roads that seem to be closed. Areas that I seem to be powerless to do anything about (using power in it's best rather than corrupting sense).

And then I turned to prayer and God made it very obvious that I have very much influence over every situation in the world and certainly in my life - through prayer. When, as Christians we say 'there's nothing we can do about it' it's not true - we can pray in all circumstances. We may not personally impact a situation or be able to do something physically but we can do something, no road is completely closed to us.

I often wonder whether the prayers I offer to God, that conversation with Him, is a selfish act. For me to have God's time and attention and to bring things that are important to me to Him. Today confirmed not only that it is not a selfish act but an act of love for others as I bring their real and perceived needs down a road that is never closed.