Lost

When I am asked if I have 'lost' something (physically, emotionally, spiritually) my honest first reaction is that I haven't lost anything. Rather bluntly in fact (which may be a clue!)

I 'lost' my grandparents when I was young - yet I do not grieve for them because they are not truly lost because I know where they are, I just can't get to them.

I 'lost' my independence and free will when I became a Christian and subsequently a Salvation Army Officer. But they were given away, not lost: I know who holds them.

I have 'lost' contact with many people and have even considered myself a bad friend for not keeping in contact - but I have, through Facebook and the like been able to catch up on lost friendship.

So maybe there is something deeper than this.

Perhaps I have lost my 'joy'.

There is a certain feeling of going through the motions, even with good intentioned and God directed actions it feels like the joy has disappeared from my life. And it's not an emotion it is a reason for living. 

The moment I acknowledge that the joy is missing something stirs very deeply within me. It is in my soul. My spirit calls to The Lord to remind me - the human being - that He is my joy and the joy of The Lord is my strength.

As the joy returns to me I fully embrace it enjoying it's warm glow, knowing that this gift was there all along - I had simply lost sight of it.