I surrender

What would it take to surrender all of my past to God?

I feel that when I read a sentence like this in my devotions that this is something I have already done - probably numerous times.

I have surrendered hopes and ambitions, property and potential wealth as well as hurt and bitterness to the sovereignty of God. I live the relationship I have with Jesus and feel his presence with me... Most of the time.

And for me that is where the challenge lies. The moment I have typed each letter on this screen it is in the past. So it's valid for me to declare that all my past is surrendered never to be brought up against me or by me in my arrogant defence and that past is way behind me. But what about my immediate past? That part of me which is only just behind me?

Like the wing mirror in a car I can see back down the road I have travelled quite some distance but I need to change my perspective to see the person who is travelling in the back seat.

My immediate past travels with me some way.

The conversation I just had, the joke I just shared, the meeting whe I said nothing and just left. They are all in the past - but may not be too late to put right what was perhaps not the best of us.

I found myself needing to apologise to someone yesterday because of something I had shared with them that I was not able to deliver on. Immediately our relationship was back where it should have been. Apology graciously and gratefully accepted. A mistake of the near past surrendered to Christ who prompted my action. 

For don't forget: surrender may mean corrective action not just future obedience. 

Here is a song, Jesus, All for Jesus, by Robin Mark that I have found helpful when thinking this through in the past http://youtu.be/bbrt1y8pKCo 

My story

My story is simple and, I suspect, fairly common. But I have the experience that God is never mundane, random or predictable - even if my life may appear to be at times.

Although brought up in a. Christian family there came a time in my teenage years - I was 17 - when I had to decide whether or not this life of faith was for me: was I going to be a Christian or just play at it?  In my own room, sat on my bed, I read the story from Palm Sunday through to the resurrection in all four gospels and was overwhelmed that this was something Christ had done for me. From that day onward I took my relationship with Christ seriously.

He had to knock some corners off me - worldliness and relationships, through to piety and false humility - he's dealt with them all.

He brought Catherine into my life and has presented both of us not only with a great family but also with incredible ministry opportunities that I never imagined.

But every day he also rescues me from temptation - to indulge myself, to be arrogant, to serve myself and not Him. Every day I thank God for my salvation - not only what he brings me to, but also what he rescues me from. I cannot explain how strong the desire to deviate from His way is sometimes - to take an easy route through a personal,  family or ministry problem - but His faithfulness in facing every challenge of His sacrifice for me reminds me that He is my model for living - and He gives me the power through His Holy Spirit to live it in his way.

In an incredible way Jesus has presented me with a freedom that is beyond comprehension. As a committed worrier I managed to hold Ono so many things I had no control over. sleep loss was a fact of life and a daily experience, fretting was my default position - but He healed me and reassures me daily that His control and way is perfect - even when I don't understand it.

In the darkest days of Catherine's cancer - He was there.

When there seemed to be no physical resources - He provided.

When our children have made decisions that challenge our thinking - He supports us - and looks after them.

When the future is uncertain - He is with me.

I am a blessed man.

Forgive and...

Wow!

I didn't see that one coming - 'today's challenge is to forgive'.

Can't I just make a card or some cakes, or pay for lunch for a stranger? Can't I just take some clothes to a charity shop, or sign a petition, or tell people the Gospel?

Forgiveness.

It's a real tough one because sometimes you don't know whether you've really forgiven someone until the next time you meet them. As soon as you see them the bitterness and resentment come flooding back. And they maybe don't even know that they've offended me. Maybe I'm just sensitive to a specific issue. Maybe it's me that needs forgiveness...

Forgiveness is probably the most difficult challenge because it is the most precious. To forgive means I'm released. to forgive means that someone else is no longer living rent free in my head and heart. To forgive means that Jesus has invaded every part of my life - including the past, because forgiveness is all about the past.

As far as I am aware I don't hold any grudges against people, as far as I am aware I am a 'forgiver' rather than a bearer of burdens.

But I may be wrong...

With Good Friday tomorrow I have no choice but to examine myself today in the light of the forgiveness I have received - and forgive the same way.

Also...

I may need forgiveness from others - I seek it today.

Grace and Aggression

I was blown away by Lucado's statement that 'grace is aggressive forgiveness'. Grace is so often the quiet gift of God, the arms wrapped around the hardened heart and the stricken Spirit, the signpost that points the way to the father. 'Aggression' is not a word that I immediately connect with 'grace'.

Stop...aggression is not about violence, it's not about unruliness, or cursing language. It's about dealing with things in a demonstrable, distinctive way. It's about the manner, in this case, of forgiveness.

Grace is there for every sin, of every day, of every failing and fault, for every spoken expletive, every strike and fall, every guilt, every inappropriate word and action...

Gone.

The grace of aggressive forgiveness takes the heart of stone and wrings from it the drop of blood that proves life still beats within.